![]() “When I die, I want my tombstone to offer free WIFI, just so people will visit more often.”Ĥ8. “Math the only place where people buy 64 watermelons and no one wonders why…”Ĥ7. “Being able to respond with sarcasm within seconds of a stupid question is a sign of a healthy brain.”Ĥ6. “If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”Ĥ5. Please be patient I will get to you shortly.”Ĥ4. “I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. “ “Username or password incorrect.” …Well at least tell me which one it is.”Ĥ3. “If I died I want my friends to keep updating my status to freak people out.”Ĥ2. Otherwise when you’re sleeping I’ll just “Assume” you’re dead and bury you in my backyard.” Funny Jokes Minions images Quote With Funny PicturesĤ1. “Don’t just assume that when I’m angry, I’m on my period. “My teacher pointed me with his ruler and said: “At the end of this ruler there’s an idiot!” I got detention after asking which end.”Ĥ0. “Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.”ģ9. “My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.”ģ8. “The real definition of “Never mind” is “You should’ve listened the first time.”ģ7. “I’m an odd combination of “Really sweet” and “Don’t mess with me””ģ6. “When I first started my job: What needs to be done? What else I can do to help? Me now: Fire me, I fucking dare you”ģ4. “Me? Mature?! Ha! I still laugh when the ketchup bottle “Farts”!”ģ3. I mean I know I’m delicious but damn!”ģ2. Need money? This number is no longer in service.” Minion jokes, Minions funny, Funny minion quotesģ1. “I always say “Morning” instead of “Good morning” because if it were a good morning I’d still be in bed asleep”ģ0. “I’ve noticed the squirrels are beginning to gather nuts for the winter… A couple of my friends are missing. “Don’t mind me, I’m just returning your nose. I wish sudden, explosive diarrhea while on a date, with frequent sneezes.”Ģ7. “I never wish death upon anybody who wrongs me. And if you didn’t eat what mom cooked, you didn’t eat. Parents called your name, not your cell phone. ![]() “Back in my day: We played outside, not online. “Saying, “ I’m almost there! When you actually haven’t even left the house.”Ģ5. Tired? Drink some coffee, headache? Drink coffee, cold? Drink coffee, someone makes you angry? Bust them in the head with the cup!”Ģ4. “Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somewhere in this world there’s an idiot pulling a door that says “Push”.”Ģ3. “I hate when I forget to press send and I’m sitting there like an idiot waiting for a reply.”Ģ2. “If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square” Funny Minion Joke About English | Funny minion picturesĢ1. “The older you get the more dangerous it is to sneeze!”Ģ0. “It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF”ġ9. ![]() If you don’t know who it is, then it’s probably you.”ġ8. We were taught to rebel from a young age.”ġ7. Cinderella lied and snuck out at night to attend a party. A stranger kissed sleeping beauty and she married him. “Dear parents, Jasmine was in a relationship with a dirty homeless boy named Aladdin. Does that mean farting is a missed call?”ġ6. “I would lose weight but I hate losing…”ġ5. Might be contagious best defense: Slap and run.”ġ4. “Disease: Idiotitis causes the brain to shut down and the mouth to keep talking. ![]()
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